Everybody longs for some kind of awakening, but that’s only because they don’t understand what it really is.
Every one of us will have many awakenings in a lifetime, but we will resist, avoid, deny and try to ignore every single one of them at first. Awakenings are not just realizing that you should be eating organic or being able to name your chakras or doing yoga on your living room floor a few times a week. Hell, it isn’t even leaving your dead-end job or not caring what people think or realizing the system is corrupt or avoiding processed food.
Awakenings are what happen when we become aware of patterns and habits that were previously unconscious.
We kept them unconscious because recognizing that we were the ones perpetuating what we were attracting into our lives is a very hard thing to accept.
Awakenings are what happen when we finally have the epiphany, the aha moment that helps us understand why we keep choosing destructive partners or holding back our careers. And once we’ve turned that little light of consciousness on – once we start to pay attention to everything we are thinking, saying and doing – we start the radical act of unraveling.
Awakenings are heavy and they are long. They are night sweats and gagging up energy. They are purging friends and feeling like every muscle in your body will never stop aching. They are the ongoing process of realizing what we really are and what we are really here to do. They are the intuition that tells what we sometimes don’t want to know, the empathy that lets us feel with certainty that we are connected to everyone and everything by an invisible force.
There is no more numbing. There is no more avoiding. There is no more denying. There are no more ego traps. It is a process of breaking habits and severing soul contracts. It is identifying karmic ties and deeply ingrained beliefs.
Awakenings are a beautiful thing, but they are first preceded by a whole lot of purging, releasing and restructuring. It would behoove most of us to know that every time we face a rejection, a loss, a heartbreak, a change in our lives, we are not being punished, but redirected. We are never as close to being healed as when our lives seem most in shambles.
Though everyone’s awakenings happen in different ways and at different timelines, they all ultimately are the same thing at the core. It is the recognition that if we want anything to change, we have to be the ones to change it. It is the knowing that we must confront the loneliness, we must ask the hard questions, we must leave that which we know isn’t right, but feels comfortable.
We are hardwired to avoid pain – but it is feeling the pain that brings us the cure.
Awakenings aren’t “stepping into the light,” they are finally facing the darkness. Our demons are just disassociated parts of ourselves we haven’t yet learned to love – so the process of awakening isn’t so much finding our inner peace, but finding all that is haunting us.
Awakenings are the breaking of illusions, and therefore, the breaking of mental chains. It is the dissolution of an outside god, ceasing to believe in luck, the recognition that what we judge, we fear, and what we hate, we are. It is reclaiming complete responsibility for everything that we are and do, and learning to mend those fractures in our energy fields so that we may flow effortlessly, and onward.